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Main » 2020 » January » 22 » The Last will and Testament of Tamain Bergeamer Gibbles: Addendum
9:43 PM
The Last will and Testament of Tamain Bergeamer Gibbles: Addendum
To His Esteemed Magistrate, Lord of The Balance, Merchanter Divine the Almighty Abadar: In keeping with the faith, I your dutiful servant, heresigned Tamain Bergeamer Gibbles, do submit the following Addendum to his last known Will and Testament.
The heresigned does hereto retract his previous submitted grievance against the Other Almighty, known as Sarenra (see. LWT per ratta 54.246.6 subject Damien Hammerfist er: “dereliction of duty”). Retraction: In keeping with the lawlessness of the natural order of this place I have come to acknowledge that the divine is not always with us, or that our own true natures are not always with us. The Accused did lay on hands, and as a direct and observable result the perpetual state of inebriation I had been afflicted with was lifted. In keeping with the Tenants of The Great Exchange, this good deed is remunerated with forgiveness for his previous lacking of oversight. Therefore, upon my certain and imminent death, I, heresigned, no longer bear grudge against him or his Divine as having abetted a hand in said demise. See Legal Code of The Esteemed Magistrate – chapter 5 – verse 9 – psalm 14 Abetting through Acquiescence.
The heresigned does hereto retract his previous submitted grievance against all Bards and Cat people for the actions of one Dar-wyn. The Accused, having received the same laying on hands that removed the heresigned’s own affliction, has found herself equally cured. In keeping with the Tenants of The Great Exchange, the heresigned hereto does retract charges of temporary enslavement via extortion on the grounds of Time Served for her magical retardation to a feral mentality.
The heresigned does submit the following notes of Character Conduct as evidence for any future misdeeds and as bargaining leverage against said individual according to the Tenants of The Great Exchange – Acquisitions chapter 5 - Blackmail as a Commodity.
“...After having taken a moment to rest and sleep in this floating prison of hell, we accepted the demon-child’s offer to “help” Amicas. Damien Hammerfist was chosen, as being the most godly, to keep a box of cards that represent Amicas’s past – his Story. Each card represents component of who this Amicas was before he broke. His breaking, as it is determined later, was done at the hands of creatures known as Storykin – the characters in his past. So in a quite literal sense, Amicas was done in by his own personal demons. We were magically transported to a carnival. Were we came upon some ugly, demented looking clowns and crusty jugglers beating on a rather short man. A fight ensued, clowns were murdered, and upon their demise they did evaporate into a dark mist and fly through the air towards their nest of sorts. Biyo, the (presumed) victim, was promptly questioned by all his (presumed) benefactors, and the dialog that ensued revealed thus: Amicas had a caretaker, a mortal woman named Senora, who was (presumed) murdered by a few storykin (see clowns. Biyo) who did ‘...eat her flesh and body parts and gained powers outside their stories... Becoming Conspirators... There were eight conspirators… Storykin who die return to the Manifold and are remade… the power stolen from Senora resides in a Talisman… each Talisman is unique to the individual [Storykin Conspirator]...The Dragon moves around and can only be found by someone with all piece (presuming Talisman)… The Dragon sews the bodies of dead mortals to its own body hoping to become one so it can flee this place… ” We moved on more pressing matters - a giant carnival tent and the end of the pathway. We entered to discover a giant of some sort juggling rocks and about four bears on unicycles doing laps around the giant. It was a bit entertaining, I’ll admit, but the small group of onlookers sitting in the stands seemed bored. As soon as we entered the ring, they looked up at us and cheered. The Cat did something I didn’t know the cat-woman could do – she sang. The people in the stands applauded, excited at the spectacle. The ogre, or giant, or whatever it was and its troupe of bears did not appreciated her vocal talents. They came at us aggressively, I think I was the Cat this time, I’m not sure who clawed who first, the details are a bit fuzzy – but another melee broke out. If I hadn’t said so many, many times, Keeper of the Great Balance, violence always begets more violence. That exchange rate is of diminishing returns. Despite my attempt to take a few unicycles out from under a bear or two, blood was shed. Much to my surprise and everyone else here, not so thereafter the threat abated. The adversary quit the battle and returned to their cages. That was when we met this place’s true master – The Conspirator Bernaditti. I was quite impressed with the Alligator-Man’s wit and refinement. I will assume that he summoned back his troupe of entertainment as he expressed a great disappointment in the disruption of tonight’s entertainment. The Cat Lady and the Alligator Man fenced with some words, and an arrangement was made to commit to a test of wits. The Cat’s freedom, for all eternity, enslaved to this Conspirator – presumably as a main attraction for his circus – betted against his talisman. It was a simple riddle, guess the falsehood of five statements. And alas, The Cat did succeed. No, retract that, if she had failed, I wonder would I have been forced to serve with her? It was an oath made through extortion, and therefore is not legally binding, but in this place… when the laws of the divine wax and wane, I doubt, Lord Abadar, your great justice would prevent its enforcement. Along with the Talisman we learned more of these Conspirators. The were trapped in these stories of Amicas’s make and desired their own freedom. This motivated their murder of Sinora, they wanted to steal her mortality. Ironic… the immortal desiring mortality because they want an end to a repetitive existence. The Alligator Man, downtrodden at having lost his precious token, broke company with us and retreated to his lavish looking quarters inside a cage to sulk. There were Eight Conspirators: Bambleson, King of Briars, The Giant Rabbit. Marsallie, The Weaver. The Barrow King. Mournings Choir. Balabar. The Tick Tock Man The Night Peddler. The Mute Hag. We continued our descent into ridiculous madness by heading south. It wasn’t long until we encounter large trees and briars, and yes…predictably.. The Briar King Bambleson. Damien, that meathead, picked a fight with His Royal Highness of the Floppy Ears. “To the Death!” The Giant Rabbit roared and gnashed his sharp pointy teeth. “If I may counsel wisdom, your Highness, perhaps to the yield?” I said. If one more fight broke out I was going to just run for it. Amicas and the world be damned. We’re living in a story, a LIVING STORY, and these meatheads just want to murder everything in it. The Cat’s elegant solution to The Alligator man was surprisingly civil. Alas, I cannot say I have been more forthcoming with alternative solutions. I doubt every other “Storykin” we meet will want to barter over a cup of tea for their ill gotten goods. But still… Then again, these people are really good at murder. “I bend the knee to thee, your majesty” As I was scrawling this Addendum during the ever so painful to watch “duel” between a Master Combatant and in his home territory and a half naked meathead with a sword and a rope… time escaped me, and before I knew it the duel was over. I will end this account quickly. The Cat is getting a mischievous glint in her eye as she is watching me write this. To attain His Highness’s token we must repair his sword, the sword of oaths. The Dragon has the missing piece. Don’t we need all the tokens to find the Dragon? That task seems paradoxical.”
Ever your Faithful practitioner of the larcenous arts – benefactor of the trades of locksmiths, tool makers, trap makers, and Magistrates should I ever be caught. Tamain Bergeamer Gibbles
